dancing in slow motion

I have things to tell, and I wanted to write it here. I might have several minutes left but then its not enough.

I need to continue reading for my double-test which will be start by tomorrow.  I keep on smiling and I don't know why. Somehow I want to just spill everything but considering the effects that I might encounter I will never take that risk again. Like what I've done before.

I love to keep it low, I love to take it slow, I love to just follow the flow and it has been the best way for me. I do love talking but only the light part, the introduction,for the main content,lets just say it is not for now.

This is my introduction, and its just another way for me to just say I'm still here, just don't have the time to write,here.

I have the other responsibility, more important things to write at another place, another, another... just to the others. not here.

I'm working on it. I'm on my way,dear.



Hope you smile as much as I do. have a great weekend. 

This is a long post.

Hi.

Yesterday was not awesome. I had to go through a module something related to Kenegaraan & One Malaysia from 8.30 am to 5.30pm! Not to mention me & my group members also need to sing a song titled Warisan which was sing by Arwah Sudirman.But luckily the facilitator is a young beautiful woman who is a lecturer from Office Management Faculty. She used to work with Singapore Airlines which made me think she might used to work as a stewardess. Oh and she is not married! She has an Iphone..okay I talk about her too much I guess.

Alright. Moving on to the next chapter. I don't really know how to start this, but I have to come clean about this since I have a few friends asking me to make a move to have a girlfriend. I know its a boring question, I mean I already mention about this thing many times before, like "doesn't mean I don't have a girlfriend I'm...bla bla bla.." ( its like me completing a slogan). But then while I was driving, I was thinking about this then I found out that actually the main problem that I have is I'm afraid to make a move to be with someone. I'm afraid to open myself to others and I have this kind of walls around me so that I will always be on my safe side.

I'm not arrogant neither a guy who feel that I'm better than anyone else. The walls that I have around me was built without my conscious, & I only realized it yesterday. So today I'll make this thing clear, my main purpose to write this sort of explanation is not to make the world to know, but it is for me. I want to figure this out. I want to confront myself so that I know the truth what was happening to me..and my little heart.

My love life experience was not a good one that most people has. The last relationship I have with a girl is when I was in Form 4 which is I don't know how many years back, I don't really feel to count that number for now. That monkey love in high school, doesn't mean anything for me. It should not be included in the resume of love since for me, I was just playing around. The feeling was not real & I did it just because all of my friends has one so it was just like I'm following the trend. Thats the truth. Okay it sounds like I was a jerk but at the time I was only 16, where it was the time where boys & girls just about to get to know things around.You know that kind of stuff. I fall for someone else then 2 years after but she was belong to someone else. Thats it.

I accept the fact that I have no luck in this field of relationship, I accept the fact that girls can only accept me as friends+best friends, and I also accept the fact that I'm a person who is not easy to fall for someone. I'm not choosy but guys, I believe real love comes from your heart, without you push it or make it, it comes out of nowhere and just..boom! You're in love. You don't go out there, watch people around see whether she made the cut then go grab her tell her you want her, no for me, it don't happen that way. Of course all of us have certain criteria for a girl to be our girlfriend but then, sometimes it doesn't matter because when you're in love you don't have the explanation to that. "I love you because..."(complete this slogan without exceeding 20 words). No.

When you love someone, you just love. You feel comfortable to be you when you're with her. You never stop smiling in everything you do with her, texting, walking and when you see her you're so happy that you want to jump whatever, I don't know, but I know that kind of happy feels like it doesn't have limits, so happy, like you don't have anything else to bother you. Yes I know what it feels like when in love, doesn't mean I don't have a girlfriend I never experience it.

Okay. So I mention to you just now I'm afraid to make a move. Yes. I'm afraid of being hurt, being rejected, and because I'm a shy person when it comes to this. I'll be talkative one after you know me better which is when I do feel comfortable with you & I think all  of my friends already know about this. At first I was a very quiet one dgn clumsynya but then some time after that, you'll be tired to hear me talk. Haha. Yes, "there's a safe around my heart.. I don't know how to let you in, & thats what keep us apart..." Tiba-tiba nak menyanyi lagu Travis McCoy kat sini. First maybe because I have lots of weaknesses. I mean come on, I'm small, I cannot lift heavy weights, I don't like sports, I don't watch football like the other normal guys do. I tried to like football before but then I cannot force myself to like something because at the end, I feel like I'm pretending & I hate pretending to like something that I don't like. As long as I'm not gay, its doesn't matter for me.

Oops, I already told you some of my little secret, & if you can still like me to be your boyfriend or your future husband, you can drop your number and we will see what we can be next. Haha. No lah, so because of these weaknesses that I have, I think its time for me to realize that I might be good as your friend, but I don't think I might gonna be your dream husband, who can be a superman protecting you from the enemies, I'll protect you of course because I'm still the man, but then I might be beaten then I die then the gangsters will go after you. Hah mcm mana? Takot tak? But we can just call the police, am I right? hmm. -.-"

So thats why I'm still a single Ted Mosby (except that he much cuter than me as girls said, obviously). I can plan how am I gonna propose to my future wife, how my wedding is gonna be, how many kids that I want, what am I gonna do to celebrate our anniversary, how we gonna educate our kids, what we're gonna do on Sunday morning, etc but then, my imagination will never be complete and be true since that important position in my family organisation chart still not be fill in yet.

I just don't know, but until then, I want to focus in everything that I do right now, I want to learn and I know that all of us can never be like really really perfect, but since I still have my time, why don't I just prepare myself so that maybe someday, God willing, if there is someone out there for me who willing to spend the rest of her life with me, then I'll might stand the chance to be her Mr Perfect.

Have a great weekend. Bye.

I feel lucky today & yesterday.

Hai.

Hari ni saya nak cerita something. Saya tak tau la kenapa kan, tapi kan, minggu ni saya rasa mcm rezeki masuk tau. even benda tu tak ada sebesar mana, tapi saya rasa mcm happy gila.

Okay saya ada kelas AIS (Accounting Information System) tiap hari Rabu & Khamis. This week kami semua kena buat presentation for PBL ( Problem Based Learning). Alhamdulillah group saya tak kena present lagi. Then masa time presentation tu, saya tak sangka pulak presentation diorang semua ni siap ada game & tanya-tanya soalan siap buat ala-ala talk show punya program sampai saya macam wow bestnya!

Lps tu kan masa diorg buat tnya soalan tu, ada kwn saya tnya "Siapakah Bapa Perakaunan?" Tiba-tiba satu kelas diam. Masa tu saya tgh sebok-sebok dok tarik mouse PC tu ke hulu ke hilir melayari bahtera internet. Lps tu kwn saya ni dok ulang lagi soalan tu, kebetulan mmg saya tau jwpn dia & entah mcm mana for the second time dia ulang soalan tu telinga saya yg selalunya asyik salah dgr ja nih bole tangkap plak soalan tu, so saya jwblah "Luca Pacioli!!!" dgn penuh girang riang ria.

Lps tu saya dpt RM3! (Okay fine taula bukan 3 ratus 3 ribu ke apa tapi duit jgk lps nasi goreng sepinggan kat seksyen 19 ni tau)

Tadi kelas AIS ni pun ada lagi. sambung presentation. Lps tu ada lagi group yg buat sesi game perdana ria roda impian semua nih. guess what? berkat pertolongan kwn saya sang dayah & sang fali yg just main petik je huruf & i jd tukang sebut & tukang baling dadu for game "Dadu Impian" tu, kitorang menang lagi dapat air kotak plus chocolate cadbury. Saya mcm alhamdulillah sebab daripada dulu bab-bab cabutan bertuah ni semua mmg dah patah hati dah. tak pernah bertuah dari tadika pun sampai balik mengadu dkt mak kenapa asyik tak dpt sedih tau.

Tapi kali ni saya dapat. Tak payah lah nak demand tinggi-tinggi menang BMW ke apa walaupun air kotak. Feeling lucky tu dah mcm best gila dah. hihi.

Secara jujur I have lot of things in my mind right now. Tapi tiap kali mengadu kat mak saya ( saya mmg anak mak pun, anak abah jgk sb abah bg duit,haha) mak ckp kalau diikutkan semua benda masalah ni dah asyik difikir-fikir ja mmgla serabut. take it slow just follow the flow. mcm tulah saya buat. even la ni dok bagai digantung tak bertali pasai praktikal ni pun saya mcm berserah sb saya dah buat apa yg patut.

I pray for everything to be okay, & at the same time I prepare myself for the worst to happen.

Saya tak boleh dah nak mengeluh-ngeluh, saya dah besar kena la take control things mcm org besar jgk, walaupun badan saya kecik.

Takpa la saya pergi dulu sebelum saya melalut something yg at the end buat saya menyesal sb saya ckp byk sgt.

Boleh tak nak senyum besar-besar?

Hello.

Saya suka bila UiTM buat mcm ni. Buat apa? Sebab before this saya selalu marah UiTM, dgn parkingnya, dgn lifnya, dgn jadual testnya, tapi minggu ni rasa syg dkt UiTM tiba membuak-buak. haha.

Selasa haritu saya pergi kelas. Sebelum tido malam before nk ke kelas tu my friend msg ckp ada benda best bakal jadi & dia tak sabar nk bgtau. Saya pun mcm okay aku tido dulu sebab time-time biasa ni saya tak mengharapkan apa-apa keajaiban pun yg bakal berlaku.cewah.haha

Sampai kelas saya berasa sgt terharu, apabila dimaklumkan mengenai semua kelas yg dibatalkan pada hari khamis & jumaat mcm whatttt?????! seriously? oh lps tu dia ckp lagi kalau ada lecturer buat kelas bole kena tindakan disiplin mcm wow! hahaha baru cuti dpt cuti free free lagi. oh lpstukan selasa ni cuti lagi boleh heee rasa mcm nk tinggal je kelas isnin tu okay tapi tak bole.sob sob apa apa pun bersyukur gila dpt cuti lagi.

Anyway before i blah nak mengangkut 2 3 baldi air for nak mandi, pernah tak rasa mcm dlm lagu ni? Ni la among reasons aku syg minah swift ni, sb dia mmg pandai buat lagu yg most of the time dgr dlm kereta mcm kena perli dgn dia ja mcm eh taylor aku dah bgtau ko ke eh story of my life? haha.

thank you taylor swift.

bye.

Petua Pergi Kelas Tak Mandi

Hello!

First saya nak buat pengakuan membunuh:

Pernah tak korang pergi kelas tak mandi? = Saya pernah! & saya ada seorang wakil bg pihak perempuan yg berdiri sama tinggi dgn saya dlm kategori pergi kelas tak mandi. Mesti semua rasa mcm euwww tp hello, badan i tak berbau, muka i sentiasa fresh berseri selepas solat suboh, & baru sekali seumur hidup i pegi kelas tak mandi. mesti semua nak tau apa perasaannya kan? biasa ja, as long as anda semua mematuhi beberapa garisan peraturannya, saya yakin anda pasti mampu berjalan dgn penuh keyakinan, eh bukan takat yakin biasa, malah lebih yakin drpd hari biasa!

Jadi apa kata saya dedahkan kpd anda...jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng...!

Petua Pergi Kelas Tak Mandi. (OMG Tak sabarnyaaa!)

1. First of all, pastikan gigi digosok dgn bersih sebersihnya, bg mengelakkan mulut anda berbau air liur basi, tapi saya nasihatkan, eloklah sekiranya tidur tu tak payah tonggeng sana tongeng sini, tutup mulut bg dlm keadaan senang diri (jgn nganga luas2 or terbuka sedikit di bhg tepi hujung) alaaa you know, like tutup biasa ja. haaa then takda la masalah air liur berlebihan tu.Okay mulut is bhg paling penting sb di situlah kuasa kekonfidenan akan dtg. Untuk kuasa yg lebih meyakinkan, makanlah gula-gula yg menyegarkan nafas.

2. Next, rambut! yeahhh rambut ni memainkan peranan yg penting juga, sb dari rambut org mampu tau u mandi ke tak. so i suggest terapi paling baik punya, step 1 basahkan rambut, step 2 gunakan pelembut rambut yg wangiii and mampu menampakkan kelembapan seperti semula jadi yg if rambut u ditiup angin, u akan terdengar lagu Natasha Bedingfield-Unwritten mcm dlm iklan Sunsilk tu. cewahh.haha. itulah namanya konfiden! So u akan nmpk seperti mandi berkali-kali walaupun hakikatnya.... TIDAK!

3. Muka. Pastikan muka dicuci bagi menghilangkan minyak-minyak di wajah u know skin oil etc. Perasan tak sbnrnya ramai yg muka dia even dia mandi pun dia still nmpk tak mandi? Dulu rsnya mcm tak ramai tau tp skrg mcm ramai. so no worrylah wey, dah ramai dah org bleh accept fenomena ni. Org takkan perasan punya kita mandi ke tak.haha. TAPI. please cuci muka dulu bagi bersih,lap seluruh bhg muka so that muka bersih. okay?

4. Next is your outfit, dah tau tak mandi, jgn la pakai selekeh kan. mmg terserlah ketidakmandian tu. Pilih antara pakaian yg cantik yg smart yg bukan sahaja menutupi cacat cela akibat tak mandi, malah membantu anda berasa lebih yakin. Dgn outfit yg kemas, anda pasti kelihatan hebat & berketrampilan walaupun anda sbnrnya TIDAK mandi.hahah

5.Last, ini penting, semburan minyak wangi deodoran etc! Haaa yg ni bila dah bubuh, insyaallah berkesan, pastikan bau yg fresh, yg tak sakit hidung, yg tak terlampau like mcm miyak wangi yg tengik tu, sb if minyak wangi yg kau pakai tu menyakitkan hidung, it doesn't make any difference.

So itulah caranya saya tampil yakin walaupun tak mandi. Tapi jgnlah buat everyday, tak sihat wey, lagi satu tak tahan lama, paling lama pun pukul 12tgh hari ja kau kena balik mandi 3 kali refill tangki. Aku tak mandi sb rumah aku tiba-tiba paip rosak, so ada la excuse kan.

Bye! Selamat beramal. :)

As time goes by.

Hai.

Saya tak faham. kenapa org nak pakai susuk? padahal sudah terang lagi berspot light lampu stadium yg effect susuk tu last-last buat muka kau buruk. Kenapa susah-susah, pakai BRANDS Inner Shine sudah. Terus ayu mcm Maya Karin.

Itu subtopic. Masok tajuk besar. Sehari sebelum saya pulang bercuti for Chinese New Year (Gong Xi Gong Xi masuk tahun baru buangkanlah perasaan benci sesuka hati), saya menerima panggilan drpd classmate tingkatan satu saya dulu, memberitahu tentang perginya seorang sahabat saya kerana kemalangan di jalan raya.

Agak terkilan kerana kami semua rakan-rakan tak sempat melihat arwah sebab semua pun balik lambat, jadi akhirnya semua sepakat untuk just berkunjung ke rumah arwah berjumpa dgn parents dia. Arwah adalah kawan saya masa sekolah menengah, pernah satu dorm, pernah tarik sembunyikan towel saya & kwn2 lain time mandi, pernah bernasyid sekali, pernah main bola sekali (wow aku pun main bola jgk dulu, tp dah retire).

Last time terserempak masa tu dah 2 years back, tu pun tak sempat bersembang lama. My friends semua sedih sebab before arwah accident dia byk kali mintak kat kawan saya, buatla reunion. Nak jumpa semua. Tapi sebabkan masa cuti semua org mostly tak sama, so asyik tertunda. Last-last, semua org berjumpa, bereunion, tapi sebab dia. Sebab dia dah tak ada.

Saya sedih. Mcm tak sangka,dia pergi dulu. Tak contact after habis SPM, padahal ada masa before this tak pulak berjumpa. Tapi benda dah jadi, nothing we could do to bring back the time.

Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Amin.