Don't You Want Me Baby?

Hai.

Ni post rushing-rushing. Macam sempat tak nak tulis timetable minggu-minggu neraka kat sini? Naaahhh... no time baby, no time.



Banyak benda nak tulis tapi tak boleh, bye dulu sebab nak practice besok kena jadi Ryan Seacrest kejap sebab aku ada talkshow sendiri. Cool kan? Haha.

Crap.

Hai.

Soalan ini memang poyo sikit tapi,

Betol ke pintu hati tertutup? Minta maaf soalan tu sgt euw bukan? Entah. Boleh tak saya cakap memang benda yg jadi mostly akan affect or maybe akan change the way you see things in life. Dulu saya cakap dekat org kenapa kena mcm tu, I mean takkan kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga? Kenapa lps jadi mcm tu ko perlu stereotype ke apa kan?

Sekarang saya faham.

Saya bukan stereotype. Saya bukan mangsa dari keadaan sendiri. Saya bukan tercari-cari. Saya bukan tertutup pintu hati whatever silly things people might think it would be.

Saya tak ada mood. Saya tak nak fikir. And the truth is I don't even give a damn on it. Thats why I don't talk about it. Sebab saya tak ada perasaan.



and lagu ni sedap. heard it while I was driving, and I...
*sighed

Goodnight weh. Je deteste le lundi.

Sedetiklebih

Hi.
First, lagu ni sedap. Not a big fan of anuar zain, just lagu ni sedap.



Alright next.

To be honest I love watching people in my daily routines. Everyday at 7.15 am, I will drive to go to class and I see parents in my neighborhood, looking smart and fabulous in their work attire driving expensive cars sending their children to school. I see Mercedes Benz, BMW from 3 Series up to 8 Series, Mini Cooper, Peugeot, all sorts of Honda & Toyota model. In my heart I could only wish someday my children could have this too ( go to school in expensive cars and their mum and dad look fabulous in his/her attire work). I must say all these children must be proud when they arrive in front of the school gate, walking out from a sport car, holding expensive mineral water bottle and I wonder how much money they have in their pocket? Because according to my experience when I was in secondary school, the maximum amount I will get for a day would be RM2, and during the time I went to school riding my bicycle, obviously not a racing bicycle bmx whatsoever, just an ordinary bicycle.

That was in the morning.

What I really love to see everyday since 2 years I've been staying here take place in the afternoon and in the evening, usually 12.30 pm and 6 pm.

Lets change the language.

Setiap hari, saya dan rakan-rakan serumah akan makan tengah hari di sebuah kedai yang merupakan satu-satunya kedai pilihan hati untuk waktu mkn tgh hari. Jadi obviously jugak, kami melalui jalan yang sama setiap hari untuk ke kedai makan tu. Apa yg saya nampak pada kali ini berbeza jika nak dibandingkan dengan apa yg saya nampak di waktu pagi yg penuh dgn org-org fabulous berkerjaya td.

Ada seorang lelaki berbangsa cina, setiap hari dia akan berjalan kaki melalui jalan yg sama saya lalu pergi ke kedai tu, memegang tgn dua org anaknya, seorang lelaki seorang perempuan, at the same time menggalas beg sekolah anak-anaknya tu. Dia pakai baju berkolar yg dimasukkan ke dalam seluar slack and dia pakai kasut, if I'm not mistaken from my interpretation, mesti dia balik dari kerja sekejap masa tgh hari untuk hantar dua org anak dia ni ke sekolah. Its quite far actually, and dia berjalan di tgh panas.

Then setiap ptg, saya akan lalu jalan yg sama lagi sekali untuk pergi mkn malam. Oh kedai makan pujaan hati time makan malam tak sama dgn kedai tgh hari td, tp location dia sama jugak sebelah-sebelah ja, bezanya kedai sebelah bukak time lunch menyediakan nasi berlauk kedai sebelah lagi bukak time ptg sampai malam menyediakan masakan goreng-goreng tom yam & sama waktu dgnnya.

Saya akan nampak lagi sekali bapa kpd dua org anak ini berjalan selepas ambik anak dia dari sekolah, sama mcm tgh hari td dia still menggalas beg anak-anak dia and sambil berjalan dia akan cakap dgn anak-anak dia, maybe dia tanya anak-anak dia apa yg diorg belajar dkt sekolah for that day kot. Uncle ni tak penah miss pergi balik hantar anak dia every single day, tak pernah sekali pun dlm 5 hari waktu bersekolah tiba-tiba bini dia ke hantar mmg takda.

Sampai sekarang, jumlah dua org anak td dh jd 3. Anak yg ketiga is a baby, duduk dlm stroller, comel gila      (walaupun tgk dari jauh) terserlah keputihan & mata sepet dia. Everyday tgh hari & ptg baby dlm stroller ni pun uncle ni bwk jgk. Kdg kesian tgk baby tu duduk tgh-tgh panas, tapi dia tak menangis apa pun. Dia mcm lagi suka ja abg dia tolak stroller pergi sekolah. Maybe bagi dia diorg tgh bwk dia pergi jalan-jalan tgk sekolah abg dgn kakak dia.

Ada seorang lagi yg saya nampak masa pergi mkn tgh hari, adalah mak cik yg ambil anak dia dari sekolah yg sama. Mak cik ni berjalan bwk 3 org anak dia, seorang perempuan and dua org lagi lelaki, dua-dua ni kanak-kanak istimewa. Badan anak lelaki tu tinggi and besar sikit, and everytime saya nampak makcik ni berjalan dgn anak-anak dia, saya rasa sebak and sayu.

That is among the things I've seen everyday in my life here, and maybe there's a different between things I've seen during the morning and in the afternoon and evening, but the similarity is all of these parents send their kids to school with the hope that someday their children will grow up as a successful person in everything that they do. And I pray for them that their kids will look after them when they grow older just as they look after their children when all of them were young.

Thank you abah sebab tolong hantar nasik lemak and air kotak masa rehat time tadika dulu.

ABC123

Dear diary,

Today is better than yesterday. Yesterday it was rain all day, and I didn't know why I felt so alone. Everybody had their own things to errand and I had mine too, but maybe it was the side effect of the weather. It was cold, it was quiet, and it felt like nobody was at home. Only the sounds of rain and the wind.



*AND THIS SONG WAS A PERFECT SONG TO SING YESTERDAY. but I still keep on playing it now though.

Okay sambung cerita.

Well its not all that bad, because you see I've already got the result regarding my internship application.
Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah, He gave me what I'm asking for and I hope that it will be a wonderful start of a great journey for me this year. Insya-Allah.

I miss my family. I wanted to go back but then I just had few things that require me to just be here instead of driving back home and enjoy the grocery day out with my mother. Abah is quite busy too these days so we just had a short conversation on the phone. As long as everybody's fine I don't mind to be far away from them. (No, I lied.)

Now that I already know where to go for my internship, I can start on planning my future. If the times before I couldn't see the path, if the times before I  couldn't imagine where will I be in the next few years, now it seems like there's a light that could show me the way. Now it feels like I have something to hold on to, something for me to dream of. All I need is to work hard on it and pray for it, and at the same time not to put much hopes and expectations and be patient. Full stop.

Have a great weekend everyone.

p/s: I miss watching Sesame Street on Sunday morning.

No more heart mistakes please,

Hi.

Is it me atau semua org pun rasa benda yg sama yg masa sekarang mcm cepat gila gila? Aku set alarm pukul 6 pagi, lps tu bila aku jaga aku snooze aku rasa mcm tak sampai seminit tidur-tidur ayam jaga-jaga dah pukul 7.45 pagi?!

So pengajaran minggu lps yg masih belum diambil pengajaran lagi ialah jgnlah tidur-tidur ayam di subuh hari, nanti jadi subuh gajahlah pula. nampak tak jauh beza dari ayam bole jadi gajah kat situ? Eh apa aku merepek ni.

Okay aku nak cakap aku tak berapa berkenan dgn kedatangan minggu ni. Memangla aku bukan datang bulan ke apa tapi semua lecturer dah mula start bagi paper test. Org yg markah cantik tgn dia mmg gatal-gatal dah la nak amik paper dia kan tapi org yg markah hodoh berkerutu mcm aku ni mmg sengsara la kejap.

Kadang tak tau kenapa, bila dah study semua pun still ada silap lagi. Bila dah berpeluh baca semua chapter, sekali time jawab exam sebab nervous nak cepat takot lupa benda yg dah igt, tak perasan belakang kertas soalan ada soalan lagi satu bernilai 20 markah?

Lps tu sebab dah huru-hara dgn keadaan hari exam tak cukup tidur semua otak jadi mcm blur lps tu semua information yg absorb tak keluar?

I could not afford any mistakes anymore come on dude.

Tapi maybe bukan rezeki kita kali ni nak buat mcm mana. -.-"




In life most of the time I could not run from the temptation of following my heart, brain always says something else but what your heart says is usually more comfortable compared to what your brain is keep on telling you. But what I can see that in life, you need to be good I mean really really good in making your decisions. What you need is the skills of mixing the opinion and judgement from your heart & your brain.

I don't wanna think of anything else as I'm enjoying my life right now. Forget about anything else, perfection or whatever dreams that will never come true, just keep on holding on what you have and make the best of it. I love my imperfections and my weaknesses because it keeps me far from being such an asshole and a douchebag.

I love this song. Nothing to do with anything but yes its true, life can do terrible things to you.

Lagu ni Sam bagi, pernah tak aku bagitau aku rasa mcm nak curi Ipod dia sb lagu-lagu dia sedap? Oh playlist McD Sec 3 pon mcm nak curi jgk weh. Haha.

Bye.

Hyperbola.tapi fobia.

Hi.

Hari ini saya nak cakap pasal beberapa benda. Okay saya baru balik dari mengeteh, dalam erti kata lain minum-minum sambil berbual-bual kosong, tapi sebenarnya its up to you la kalau nak berbual-bual tak kosong kalau nak sembang benda-benda mcm dalam topik TV pendidikan ke isu kenapa balance shit kau tak balance whatever tu tak lari pun dari definition mengeteh tu, tapi selalunya org mengeteh ni nak relax kan otak bukan nak bercakap topik-topik berat yg bila kau balik buat kau lagi serabut nak gila. Eh kenapa ayat saya mcm emo? Taklah saya okay ja malam ni.

PHEWITTT! AMARAN 18 TAHUN KE ATAS (TAPI UMUR BOLE ADJUST ATAS PERTIMBANGAN & PERMINTAAN)

Okay tadi ada match (eh tak ada la td last night la sebab today dah Monday kan) MU lawan Liverpool. Seperti yg anda semua sedia maklum saya bukanlah peminat bola tegar excited gila ke frust tertonggeng (please jgn tonggeng banyak-banyak nanti buasir) tapi saya berminat bila dua team ni lawan sb saya selalu buat prediction. Macam hari ni saya yakin gila MU menang tapi Liverpool menang mcm hah? Okay takda effect pun sbnrnya tapi...wey tak suka laa prediction salah ni! Malu.haha Whatever it is congratulations tu Liverpool & dia punya fans. Besok siapa yg ada simpan dalam almari baju Liverpool tu bolehlah berbangga pergi kelas pakai.

Alright tadi masa my housemate berdiskusi berdebat pasal bola ni, then baru saya teringat, kenapa saya tak main bola. Ni bukan alasan sengaja nak berdalih-dalih sebab kaki bangku ke apa tapi yes sb dah dulu pun jarang main sekarang tak main terus mmg official la kaki bangku kaki kerusi plastik kaki kerusi office main tarik turun naik tu semua mmg dah pakej lengkap la. The main reason is...heheh isu sensitip ni. Fine dah terlajak cakap kan saya tulis ni pun sebab sementara ingat punca tak main bola ni baik tulis siap-siap esok tua dah nyanyuk kalau cucu tanya bole la saya refer balik dekat post ni.

Cucu: Atok atok kenapa atok tak main bola?

Saya: Ehem atok rasa jawapan tu ada dlm blog atok, nah amik link ni cari sendiri ye cucu pujaan atok. Jgn lupa jadi followers eh atok takdala nak mintak sgt tapi bukan susah pun main klik-klik je pun tak keluar duit pun.

Eh tak ada la sampai nak paksa cucu jadi followers kot? Hahah.

Kisah dia macam ni. Masa darjah dua time pendidikan jasmani, cikgu saya bagi bola seketol lps tu suruh la budak-budak main. Budak-budak tu saya & rakan-rakan sekelas & satu bas sekolah ni la. Then after diorang divide team semua main la kitorg pun. Time tu kebetulan saya jadi reserve sebab budak lain yg badan besar besar tong dram ni & tinggi-tinggi diorang masuk dulu la sebab dari segi fizikal nya dah terserlah la kechampionan diorang tu. ceh. kononla. haha jeles jeles sb diorang tinggi & besar.

Lepas tu sebaik wisel ditiup sampai saya rasa mcm nampak tau percikan air liur keluar dari wisel tu ( time tu la saya bersumpah bahawasanya takkan ku sentuh walaupun sedikit wisel-wisel property of panitia pendidikan jasmani), maka bermulalah aksi-aksi menunjuk siapa jaguh. Mula-mula saya mcm dah chuak jgk tgk diorang ni sepak mak aiii kuat-kuat jgk hentam tapi tak kesah la jantan la weh jantan la sikit. Haha. Okay lps tu sorang kwn saya ni bola dia sepak kuat gedebab kena kwn saya lagi sorang punya...err dia punya, korang tau, satu-satunya lelaki punya. haha

Nah kata kau menangis melalak anak orang tu. Okay dia terbaring tepi padang cikgu bagi exception. Mau tak exception burung dia patah sayap kot.eh censored censored burung layang-layang atas langit yg patah sayap. Then second time kawan saya yg jadi keeper kena jugak. Tapi dia ni agaknya nak control macho ke apa dia just tunduk2 then cakap dgn gentlement nya "Aku okay weh, aku okay" padahal muka merah padam tahan.
Thats why, aku CHUAK WEYYY!

Sampai darjah lima avoid tak nak main. Masa darjah enam beranikan diri tapi jadi defend ja. Bola datang aku sepak balik jauh-jauh sebab aku taknak diorang main bubuh dkt aku plak. Tak pun sepak je keluar habis cerita. haha. tapi after keluar sekolah menengah tak main langsung dah sebab mmg tak minat pun, & tak terer. Biarlah mereka yg terer-terer menguasai gelanggang dari saya yg tak terer mencari pasal sakit di tengah-tengah badan tu.

Eh dah pukul 2 pagi la. bye kena tido besok kelas pukul 8. dammit.