The Road Between The Road Not Taken & Has Been Taken

Hi.

Along long time ago there was a kid who always wanted that he can grow so fast so that he can do what adults can do. He thinks being an adult is cool. He can't even wait to grow his moustache because he thinks that is one of the features to be more mature. He thinks having & driving a car with his girlfriend in the ride could be the coolest scene ever.

But now, he hates it. He hates it when after he reached his puberty the problems keep on coming one after another. It started with all sorts of personality issues and if yesterday he was a brave boy moving fast without any hesitations, now he tends to be afraid to make a move. He have to think a lot, of every consequences that he might have to get through for every decision he's gonna make, for every words that will coming out of his mouth and for every actions he undertakes in his daily life. He became so shy that he could not even speak a word out of his tiny mouth when he's among the people which he just met. He just monologue everything in his limited space of mind and not so big enough heart where if only one day he need to be operated, the doctor would see the scars and wounds that hurt him so much till' he don't believe in hope.

Although everytime when he needs to pull a strength he'd always hope for a miracle to be happen but at the same time he knows there will be nothing, nothing can't stop things from happening and he wondered why all sorts of good things is never longer than bad things. Plus minus the recovery process, where the parts he keep on motivating himself will all crappy monologue trying to not let him from falling apart.

At the end of the day all that he wants is just to play safe, he took a road where his heart will always on the safe side, the road where he can just go straight while looking through the glass walls right and left, and all that he could see are the things which he will never get the chance to feel nor taste it, and he could see all the choices and options he'd never dare to choose,  while at the same time he dream of things that he always wanted to happen, a miracle, just like the people in the glass walls, for someday might be for him.

He realized he's hoping, again.