Stay up too late and I'm too thin.

Hi.

I'm not a good writer. So I don't know how to make an interesting start for every post here. But that's not important anyway. It's not like I'm writing a book to be sold.

Honestly, I love weddings. I like it more when there's white roses along the entrance, white big wedding cake in the middle, and while people still eating they played sorts of sweet songs...

I love it when everything is in creamy white color.

But what I love the most is the fact that wedding is the beginning of a new journey. Where both persons knew what they want from each other, they knew the both of them will be able to give each other happiness, for better or for worst, and will be able to give them love until the end of the life. When you know, you know. You just know. That's what they always said.

I went to many weddings this holidays. Including my classmate's wedding(the one when I was a little,who once upon a time used to ride a bicycle accompanied me every time I went back from school). She was among the pretty ones, and still she is pretty.no sorry, a beautiful woman. I watched her with her husband walking there together holding hands with the big smile on their face, and I can imagine the adrenaline rush inside of them. That happy face. The bride & groom happy face.

Oh no she's not my old crush. What I'm trying to deliver here is I can feel the happiness that she felt that day, it kinda like your first phase of happily ever after is completed, and now you gonna enter into phase two and next and next... It must be quite relieved when you ended up with someone that you love and loves you back. Congratulations to her, one of my best friends in secondary school.

You can imagine all sorts of things you wanted to imagine. I do that all night, every single day of my life before I fall asleep. No matter how tired I felt during that day, my mind never stop trying to imagine all the fairytale dreams. My own version of stories with my own version of happy endings. But the cool thing is that, before these both eyes close, it will came into a conclusion, about my earlier imagination of course. It said tawakal.

I never gave up of anything in my life, and there's always hope. Most of the time I felt like I'm a loser, but that doesn't mean I gave up on everything. I'm living a good life where there are families & friends in it, and no matter how hard things that I'm gonna get through, I'll be okay. Of course there are parts of me still missing & I have no worries (sometimes I worried, but that's normal). I believe there's still plenty of time and someday I'll solve my own puzzled.

Goodnight.