Sooner or Later It Will Come.

Evening.

I just got back from OU with Syakir & Umar, window shopping for raya.Tapi sebenarnya pagi tadi tak bangun sahur sebab tido lambat. sampai kat OU banyak gerai jual makanan, ada org jual rendang tok, lepas tu disusuli dgn bau bahulu yg dimasak panas-panas kat situ. Lps tu byk advertisement makanan memang menguji keimanan. selisih dgn chinese girls kat escalator sambil minum starbucks. aiyoyo.sebenarnya saya nak roti nan tapi tak dpt sb tak bgn sahur kan pagi td. sabar je lah.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my future. It started when my house-mates were busy struggling with their application to do their practical training.Tiba-tiba baru sedar, kita dah nak habis degree.yeah I know we all have about one more year to go, but don't you think that one year is coming too soon? Ditambah dgn some of my friends yg study abroad already came back and they already have a job. some of them already have plans what to do with their life.and here i am.still trying to figure out.what will i do for living.am i ready for the world out there?

its hard for me to believe that soon we guys need to leave this house,rumah yg disewa since semester 3. section 19.this is ridiculous but i think for me to let go of this house is something hard for me to do. This house witnessed our changes. i remember when it was my first time i got here, masa tu tak kenal rapat sgt dgn semua org. but now, they are all part of my life. bgn pagi-pagi breakfast, sahur, berbuka sekali, mkn petang kat kedai 'payung biru' sama-sama for every single day. then dgn arguments & conflict tiap hari lawan cakap sesama sendiri, bahan membahan. we all have so much fun.

Life dekat menara. yeah i know tiap hari merungut dgn parking & lift tapi now i realize that, someday it will be the thing that i missed the most. then jumpa dgn kawan-kawan kat tgh jalan on the way nak pegi cafe when the lecturer bagi break 5 minutes. Next sem korang practical training, tu dah rasa dah bahang macam mana sedihnya bila aku part 8 tak dpt jumpa korg lagi macam tu kat fac sb korang dah habes & kerja.

Honestly I tell you,
I'm not ready to do any of these 3 things. My future, to let go of this house & neither the routines that we have now. I'm not ready to grow up this fast.
I hate it but I guess I need to be prepare for it. & the time is now.

The Level 10 Toilet Mystery

Hi. Lets start with this. Hari ni saya dtg kelas awal.7.30 dah sampai. Bila masuk kelas x ada org sampai lagi.lps tu rs nk buang air kecil (bahasa sopan) so saya pergi toilet. memandangkn toilet level 11 bkn laki punya, jadi saya pergi toilet kat level 10.

Level 10 tgh under construction.creepy gila.gelap tak ada lampu. tapi toilet kat situ boleh guna. dlm hati mmg agak chuak, tapi saya tak suka tahan-tahan.so saya pun masuk jah toilet kat situ dgn penuh keberanian.

toilet no. 1 & 2 pintu tertutup.so saya masuk toilet no. 3. alhamdulillah bersih. masa dlm toilet tu,tiba-tiba saya terdengar bunyi.bunyi suara org mcm org tgh menjalankan pelaburan.okay saya mcm rs tak perlu la dia nak keluarkan bunyi tu. wlaupun tak kuat sekadar bisikan, tapi saya still dgr.saya pulak rasa malu dgn tindakannya mengeluarkan bunyi.

tp yg pelik,bunyi tu tak berhenti lagi.cukuplaa sikit-sikit kan.takkan lah ada org buat project dlm tu.tp outcome last ni tak bole blah, tiba-tiba saya rs dlm tu bukan org.saya rasa yg dlm tu hantu.eh wait!kan skrg bulan puasa.-.-"malangnya saya tak mampu mempositifkan otak.jantung berdegup kencang. sb saya sorg saya chuak, cpt2 saya setelkan urusan saya & berlalu pergi slow2. saya jln jinjat kaki sb tak nak bg dia dengar bunyi tapak kaki saya.

keluar jah dari toilet terus saya lari naik tangga nak naik level 11. tp lagi 5 anak tangga nak sampai level 11,saya dgr pintu toilet level 10 td ditolak.fuh,hati rasa lega sikit maybe dia tu manusia.so saya menyorok tepi tangga,nk tgk muka sapa ni yg membuat pelaburan sampai berbunyi2 tu,saya bukan nak ejek dia atau bahan dia tp saya curios.nak tgk muka ja pun thats all.

tunggu punya tunggu tak nmpk2 pun.tiba2 rs alamak hantu ke dia keluar tolak pintu dgr bunyi tp tak nampak?! shit shit shit lalu saya berlari kencang masuk kls balik. fuh.

still, i wonder siapakah or apakah makhluk dlm toilet tu?
its a mystery. yg pasti saya tak nk pergi toilet level 10 dah.

TTYL.

Hate Homework Day.

i hope you know, i hope you know,
that this is nothing to do with you
its personal, myself and i
we've got some straightening up to do
and i'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
but i've got to get a move on with my life...

i just killed an ant, & i'm so sorry i just felt annoyed when i saw it on my laptop while i'm typing this.
i love the part there, in fergie's song big girls don't cry. the song of course it is for girls only but the few sentences there can be used by anybody. and i'm using it, now.

i have lots of homeworks, and i'm worried. yet i'm not feel the rajinness to do a homework right now. i'm tired, i'm having a flu, and i'm still angry of myself because the fried rice i ate masa sahur x sedap langsung. i made a mistake of choosing my food for sahur. it has spoiled my day.

so to make it up,to balance things up, i need to compensate myself to do something that can make me happy instead of thinking craving for what to eat and dlm hati mula rasa menyesal whylah tak mkn bg habis makanan masa x puasa dulu. now you cannot eat during the day.hahah. i want to watch a movie. i dont want to do a homework right now. because today is the "hate homework day" for me.

TTYL.

Ini Bukan Post Emo.

When you try your best but you don't succeed (Checked,)
When you get what you want but not what you need (tak tau nk ckp tak penah rasa lagi)
When you feel so tired but you can't asleep(ni jadi semalam,tp bkn smlm ja.byk kali dh)
Stuck in reverse.
When the tears come streaming down your face(last time menangis masa cuti,don't ask me why)
When you lose something that you can't replace (belum jadi lagi,sb setakat ni yg hilang boleh aja diganti lagi)
When you love someone then it goes a waste(-.-")
COULD IT BE WORST???

I had quiz today, on Finance (MAF). Its awful. Yes maybe I should let go of that because it already happen, but yet, no. I'm not. I was ready to write something on the empty paper but after I read the question my brain couldn't find the answer. BLANK. My brain was BLANK. My answer sheet BLANK. I felt stupid. T_T

Its only a quiz. Maybe I'm a little bit carried away by what happened, but since then, I was thinking, what am I good at? I mean I'm 21 years old, shouldn't I be good at something? Something useful, something that is REAL KNOWLEDGE? I'm not freaking out. Its just that I have a lot in my mind right now. I messed up. Screw me. And now keep on blaming myself because I didn't know what else to do. I'm not a richie wealthy good looking cool mr hot stuff guy who drive a sports car to class, and I'm also not a sort of pelajar cemerlang type who sponsored by a scholar. I'm not even good at any sports. I'm not good in remembering things too. Pity me.

See? Its only a quiz, but look where it took me. Now I'm like comparing myself with what they other people have. But at one point I begin to think, its not good to keep on complaining. Yes, I don't have lots of money, I'm still struggling to be excellent in my studies, and judging from the quiz that I couldn't answer, I felt like I'm wasting everything. My family's hope, my parents money. When they gave you a car it should be better, better results, better achievement. But look at me, I'm getting nowhere. I felt guilty to mama & abah. I'm so sorry. T_T. Dah la x kaya lps tu x pandai. It breaks my heart you know. Nangis lagi. T_T

I should stop complaining about what I didn't have, and starts appreciate more on what I have. I shall put more effort, I believe there is hikmah on everything that happens. Who knows, from all bad things happen, maybe it will lead a way for good things to come, someday.

To mama & abah, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, & I MISS YOU.....:((

TTYL.

Much Better.

I was sick.

Its not my nature untuk mengadu mengada pasal my sickness. I'm not kinda of manja. Tapi honestly saya berasa ragu-ragu.

Yesterday I had breakfast with my housemates at 7am. I ate nasi lemak, the other did too. Semua mkn nasi lemak. Tapi perut okay lagi. Tak rasa apa2. Then I had my lunch kt McD. Then after that bila sampai aja rumah terus perut sakit gilaaa nk mati. Rasa mcm perut dipulas-pulas. After 4 times masuk toilet, then muntah-muntah non stop. Its euw kan, okay whatever it is I'm warning you please don't read my status kat fb yg "very very sick, very very euw". Seriously all of you mmg x bole mkn after that.

Then went to the clinic, the doctor mcm main-main. Bole plak gelak-gelak. Okay maybe because of me gelak-gelak jugak at that time pasal my perut yg gila x tentu pasal tu. The doctor said "Oh ini takda apa2 aaa, I bg u ubat gastrik saja maaa. sama itu ubat angin & muntah." Bole pulak kata takda apa???!!! Aku punya letih dehydration tahap maksima. Dgn muka x puas hati tanya lagi, "Habis tu klu takda apa2 ni sebab apa sakit?" The doctor said "Its bacteria". Sambil senyum pulak tu. -.-"

Sekarang rasa pening. Tak faham salah McD ke, salah nasi lemak? or salah diri sendiri? Sebab mmg x puas hati. Rasa mcm nk salahkan org tapi x tau siapa. Mak cik jual nasi lemak or McD? Doctor tu pun, main-main pulak. Serious la sikit. Haiya.
Whatever reasons pun, biarla. Benda dah jadi. I'm okay now. Feeling much better. Perut dah okay. Selera mkn pun dah kembali mengganas. Oh I need to prepare for my quizzes tomorrow, AIS & TAX.

Klu x cukup time, salah Modul sb buat hari Sabtu. I hate modul. Ni semua salah modul! Haha tiba-tiba.

TTYL.